new year's resolutions

How many new year’s resolutions have you made but never actually kept?

For me, I’d say the number is in the hundreds!

Can you relate?

Like millions of others, most my resolutions over the years centred on having the ‘perfect’ body and ALWAYS eating the ‘perfect’ diet so that I could supposedly be the ‘perfect’ person.

And you know the sad thing? Some of those resolutions lasted for less than one day!

Have you ever experienced this?

I’m not here however to ‘bag’ having new year’s resolutions. Even though many of us make them and never keep them, I think they’re a reflection of our determination and that’s something to be admired. So, if you’re currently experiencing any guilt or shame over being a so-called “New Year’s Resolution Drop Out,” I’m giving you permission to let go of that now.

Guilt is the most useless emotion ever and it will quickly lead you into a nightmare of pointless suffering. All this I say from experience. So please, right now, and I’ll do it with you, pat yourself on the back for being so persistent.

But I’m guessing a little pat on the back’s not going to ease all your concerns, so let’s go a little further and see if I can’t help you out some more with those “new year’s resolution blues.”


If our new year’s resolutions to lose the weight and eat the perfect diet and be the perfect person aren’t working, why is this so and what can we do instead?


There’s actually only one reason for this, and when you hear what it is, you’re going to think I’m bonkers!

You ready for this?

The one reason why your health and weight loss resolutions never work is because…

You don’t actually want to lose the weight or have perfect health!

Ok shake off the shock from hearing this, or pick yourself up off the floor, and let me explain and see if I can’t get you to understand this. I am however about to speak about aliens, so I hope you keep reading on and give me the benefit of your doubt! If nothing else, it should give you some entertainment…


Inside our mind we have two voices, and yes granted, sometimes it feels like hundreds! But when we really narrow the voices down there’s only two.

1.) The Alien Voice

This is that relentless voice that continually tells us we need to look/be/act a certain way in order to be happy. This is the voice that tells us we can’t be happy until…

  • We have the perfect body
  • We have the perfect health
  • We have the perfect skin
  • We have the perfect teeth
  • We have the perfect relationship, finances, house, clothes, pets, cars, books, gardens, governments, cacti, pinky fingers…you get the picture.

This voice goes on and on and on and on and on…

Even when we want it to stop it just keeps coming at us. It’s like a voice speaking from outer space, an alien, a phantom that seems full of substance, but isn’t really because it can’t be seen or caught so that we can tackle it down and gaffer-tape it’s mouth!

It’s this alien voice that has us making the same old resolutions each year. It convinces us that our worth is dependent on a number on a scale, or the calories in meal plan, or the size of our clothes, or the perfection of our health.

Each year when we listen to this voice, and make the same resolutions to be perfect when it comes to our diets and health, this is what we’re actually resolving:

To hold ourselves hostage to an insubstantial alien voice who dictates our happiness.

I wonder if you’ve thought about your new year’s resolutions like this before?

If we were to block out this voice, make ourselves deaf to it, we might actually hear the second voice and the honest truth to what we’re really seeking with our new year’s resolutions…

2.) The Voice of Love

This is the voice of truth. It’s not just a voice though, love is actually what we were created from, and hence there’s no alternative to what we can be. No matter what we look like, how healthy we are, how much we weigh or how much that alien voice keeps yabbering on, we are always perfect love. You cannot, never ever, be separate from what you were created from. Love is perfect, and hence so are you.

So please, just for a moment, stop reading and really let that sink in. With this one piece of factual information, should you really take it seriously and adopt this as truth, you’d never make happiness dependent on an externality ever again.

The voice of this love is always whispering to you but yabbering extra-terrestrials drown it out! I guarantee you however, it’s always there, otherwise why would we ever go on?

You know when you’re listening to the voice of love, not because God or herald angels suddenly appear to you, but instead, you have an experience of inner calm. It’s an unspoken whisper tickling your ear. It’s a gentle breeze of faith, that warms you from within. It’s silence & peace resting on your eyelids as you dream at night. Sometimes you feel it tingle over your skin as an effervescent shiver of hope that invigorates you with resolve and strength.

And in those moments, you know that everything’s ok, that all will be fine, that you can have happiness now, inner peace now, no matter what.

And this my friends, is what we truly want, when we make new year’s resolutions.


We want permission to like ourselves, permission to love ourselves, permission to laugh, permission to enjoy life.


And let me tell you, you don’t have to do or have anything to experience this.

I know you find this hard to believe. You’re saying:

  • But what about these twenty extra kilos?
  • What about my autoimmune condition?
  • What about my adrenal fatigue?
  • What about my muffin top?

And full disclaimer here, I say similar things too. I don’t always believe that I can love myself, or even like myself right now, without anything ever changing.

But just because I don’t always believe it, doesn’t mean it’s not true.

The truth of the matter is (and I say this from not just my own experience, but also from that of my clients whom I counsel with weight loss and health concerns at my practice Matrix Rejeneration) that it’s only when we give ourselves permission to love ourselves as is, to accept the truth of the love that we were created from, that we will actually achieve the health and weight the we apparently so desire.

It’s only when we love ourselves, that the stress will go away.

It’s only when we love ourselves, that the body will switch into relaxation mode and physical healing can happen quicker.

It’s only when we love ourselves, that we’ll stop craving ALL the foods.

It’s only when we love ourselves, that we’ll feel whole and full.

It’s only when we love ourselves, that healthy eating and being becomes a maintainable practise that we do with ease and joy.

It’s only when we begin to listen to the voice of love, that aliens return to Mars!

I wonder if you agree?

You don’t have to.

But what I am asking you to do, is to at least let this idea percolate in your consciousness and maybe, just maybe, the voice of love might enter your space and leave you with just one small moment of inner peace and acceptance that yes, you really are quite wonderful…as is.

To be continued…


Jen Richards is a children’s book author, therapist at Matrix Re-Jeneration, creator of The Love Project and director of health food company, Rumbles Paleo. Jen’s mission is to create a new type of epidemic; a world-wide epidemic of conscious minded people who have the strength of mind, body and heart to live in the glorious heights of their full potential.

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